Lamma Robotics

Roll up, roll up, fold down, extend sideways, pass out.

Welcome to the greatest show unbounded by space, time or unfun factcheckery.

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Lamma Robotics is the premiere creatorship and purveryorance of fine automatons, bespoke mechanistications and artificially intelligentle imaginaria on Lamma Island or at least the Greater Tai Ping Area.

Our centuries-old start-up has established itself for generations as an entirely new and unexpected fulfillment of some of humanity's most fundamental dreams and ancient desires. Mostly labour-saving,  guilt free bossing of subordinates and discounts for cash.

Every one of our entirely plausible creations is a manufactured at great expense using cutting-edge technology* by our extensive team of traditional artisanal roboticists using locally sourced power and data to meet the exacting standards of the famously persnickety inhabitants of Lamma Island. 

Our family-owned and internationally listed fully charitable profit funnel has chosen Lamma Island as its headquarters for its high pixel resolution, cinematic depth of field and surprisingly lenient imaginary robotarium taxation policies. 

Subsection 2: Wait what?

A good question. Indeed, one of the only questions worth asking. The others being: Hang on, why? How? Wherefore art thou?  And: Wednesday?

Subsection 3: The Point

What you can expect from the Lamma Robotics catalogue is a full contingent of precisely 100-ish robots. All of them designed by Lamma Robotics to meet important modern challenges and presented in a bespoke Augmented Reality (AR) environment that has caused no proven, or measurable permanent psychological damage despite rigorous and enthusiastic testing on frankly weak-minded volunteers. AR is the future. Anyone who says contrawise isn a cloth-pollenated lollygagging proto-ninny.

Subsection 4: Wait what?

Still a good question. 

The answer is that the Lamma Robotics showroom will almost certainly open one day and will be filled with the kind of technical wizardry that can only be imagined by those who already have a phone and have put apps on them before. 

Oh yes, there will be an app so you can look through the veil into the so-called metaverse. Lamma Robotics promises that this will 100% definitely be finished one day and you absolutely will be able to download it yourself or visit it in an exhibition style pop-up setting.

Subsection 5: Should I follow Lamma Robotics on Instagram and if so what ist the handle?

This is not a good question. Technically it is two questions, and both are rubbish. They were not included in the previous list of good questions for a reason. The answer to the first is disingenuous and the motivation for asking it is transparent at best, the second is obvious on even the slightest consideration (@lammarobotics).

*Cutting-edge technology may include but is not limited to, a pair of scissors kept on string to avoid theft or other shenanigans.